The past month was spent preparing for the wedding of my best friend from high school and her boyfriend of 7 years. I flew straight into Dallas from Seoul and woke up the next morning to drive to Shreveport, LA for a few days of shenanigans with the wedding party. It was 4 weekends straight of pre-wedding festivities and shuttling myself between Fort Worth & College Station. The ceremony was Sunday at a gorgeous chapel in Fort Worth followed by a reception at a quaint Bed & Breakfast nearby. I had a lovely time being the maid of honor and reconnecting with some people from the past.  This was the first time I’ve been anything other than a flower girl. I learned a lot about wedding planning! If my best friend from high school ever gets married again, I’ll be a pro. 🙂 Here’s my list of maid of honor DO’s & DONT’s:

Wedding Shower:

DON’T plan the shower games the night before, even though this wasn’t technically my fault. Fail!

DO introduce yourself to other shower attendees you’ve never met. I tried. Success?

DON’T ask about the couple’s first fight during the newlywed game. It’s either too hard to remember or no one wants to hear it. Fail!

DO make a list of gifts/givers for the bride. Success!

DON’T assume that other people are taking pictures. Fail!

Bachelorette Party:

DON’T buy Cook’s Champagne for the hotel pre-game. Stick to Andre’s or whatever you fancy. Fail!

DO coordinate with the girls so the bride doesn’t end up with the same lingerie from 10 different people. Success/Fail!

DON’T think you won’t need a cab. Totally necessary. Fail!

DO make the bride wear an obnoxious diamond ring around her neck, a sash, a penis headband, and carry around a hot pink penis straw/wand. SUCCESS!

DO sit in the front at the comedy show so the bride gets pulled on stage. Success!

DON’T forget penis name tags for the crew. Success!

DON’T wear heels that make you bleed. Fail!

Pre-Wedding Planning:

DO google/watch youtube videos on how to be a maid of honor. Success!

DON’T buy shoes that will snag your dress. Fail!

DO move-in with the bride, literally, the week before the wedding. Especially if you’re a long distance MOH. Success!

DO learn how to hold your bouquet/walk down the aisle without looking ridiculous. Success?

DON’T burn a hole in the reception linens with an iron. FAIL!

DO gather supplies for decorating the getaway car including stealing rocks from a driveway at 2am the morning of the wedding. Success!

DON’T write your Maid of Honor speech at 3:30am the morning of the wedding. Fail!

DO sleep the night before the wedding. FAIL!

Wedding Day:

DO look bright-eyed for all pictures even if you didn’t sleep the night before. FAIL!

DON’T freak out when a groomsmen calls and says the getaway car is a no-go. Success!

DO call the Best Man and tell him to figure this shit out. Success!

DO look like a bag lady when heading to the chapel. Success!

DO force the bride to eat more than a cracker the morning of the wedding. Success!

DO make sure all the bridesmaids are wearing their bracelets on the same wrist. Success!

The Ceremony:

DO smile when walking down the aisle. Success!

DON’T make the ugly crying face when the bride walks down the aisle with her dad. Fail!

DO learn how to fluff the train while holding 2 bouquets. Fail!

DON’T forget your queue to start down the aisle with the best man after the bride & groom. Fail!

DO yell ‘hey girl hey!’ at your sister as you’re walking down the aisle. Success!

DON’T step in gum as soon as you exit the chapel. FAIL!

DON’T distract the bride’s little sister during the family photos. Fail!

The Reception:

DON’T get lost trying to find the reception. Fail!

DO dance. Success!

DON’T break your bridesmaid dress while dancing. Fail!

DO ask the groomsmen to donate their boutonnierre pins to save you from flashing the entire reception. Success!

DON’T use the speech you wrote at 3:30am for the MOH toast. Say it from the heart. Success!

DO mention porta-potty tipping, toilet papering, and sign/garden gnome stealing during the speech. Success!

DO spill champagne all over your dress while giving the toast. Success!

DO tie balloons, condoms, tin cans, and bottles to the car. Success!

DO cheer incredibly loud for the newlyweds as they drive away. Success!

DON’T forget to put the garment bag for the bride’s gown in the honeymoon suite. Success!

DO transport all wedding gifts, the veil, serving pieces, and cake topper to the bride’s parents house. Success!

DON’T smash the gifts or cake topper during transport. Fail!

DO hang out with the wedding party post-reception. Success!

DON’T drive 3 hours to get home at 2am having not slept in 41 hours. FAIL!

DO take it all in and have a blast! SUCCESS!

Have you ever been a long distance maid of honor? What are your wedding tips?